The Guernsey Literary potato peel pie society (06)

From Susan Scott to Sidney
25th January 1946
Dear Sidney,
Don’t believe the newspaper reports. Juliet was not arrested and taken away in handcuffs. She was
merely reproved by one of Bradford’s constables, and he could barely keep a straight face.
She did throw a teapot at Gilly Gilbert’s head, but don’t believe his claim that she scalded him; the tea
was cold. Besides, it was more of a glancing blow than a direct hit Even the hotel manager refused to
let us compensate him for the teapot – it was only dented. He was, however, forced by Gilly’s screams
to call in the constabulary.

Herewith the story, and I take full responsibility for it. I should have refused Gilly’s request for an
interview with Juliet I knew what a loathsome person he was, one of those unctuous little worms who
work for The London Hue and Cry. I also knew that Gilly and the LH & C were horribly jealous of the
Spectator’s success with the Izzy Bickerstaff columns – and of Juliet.
We had just returned to the hotel from the Brady’s Booksmith party for Juliet We were both tired –
and full of ourselves – when up popped Gilly from a chair in the lounge. He begged us to have tea with
him. He begged for a short interview with ‘our own wonderful Miss Ashton – or should I say England’s
very own Izzy Bickerstaff?’ His smarm alone should have alerted me, but it didn’t – I wanted to sit down,
gloat over Juliet’s success and have a cream tea.
So we did. The talk was going smoothly enough, and my mind was wandering when I heard Gilly say,
‘…You were a war widow yourself, weren’t you? Or rather – almost a war widow – as good as. You were
to marry a Lieutenant Rob Dartry, weren’t you? Had made arrangements for the ceremony, hadn’t you?’
Juliet said, ‘I beg your pardon, Mr Gilbert.’ You know how polite she is.
‘I haven’t got it wrong, have I? You and Lieutenant Dartry did apply for a marriage licence. You did
make an appointment to be married at the Chelsea registry office on the 13th of December 1942, at 11
AM You did book a table for luncheon at the Ritz – only you didn’t turn up for any of it It’s perfectly
obvious that you jilted Lieutenant Dartry at the altar – poor fellow – and sent him off alone and
humiliated, back to his ship, to carry his broken heart to Burma, where he was killed not three months
later.’
I sat up, my mouth gaping open. I just looked on helplessly as Juliet attempted to be civil: ‘I didn’t jilt
him at the altar – it was the day before. And he wasn’t humiliated – he was relieved. I simply told him that
I didn’t want to be married after all. Believe me, Mr Gilbert, he left a happy man – delighted to be rid of
me. He didn’t slink back to his ship, alone and betrayed – he went straight to the CCB Club and danced
all night with Belinda Twining.’
Well, Sidney, surprised as Gilly was, he was not daunted. Little rodents like Gilly never are, are they?
He quickly guessed that he was on to an even juicier story for his paper. ‘OH-HO!’ he smirked. ‘What
was it, thea? Drink? Other women? A touch of the old Oscar Wilde?’
That was when Juliet threw the teapot You can imagine the hubbub that ensued – the lounge was full
of other people having tea – hence, I am sure, the newspapers learning of it.
I thought his headline IZZY BICKERSTAFF GOES TO WAR – AGAIN! Reporter Wounded in Hotel
Bun-Fight, was a bit harsh, but not too bad. But JULIETS FAILED ROMEO – A FALLEN HERO IN
BURMA was sickening, even for Gilly Gilbert and the Hue and Cry.
Juliet is worried that she may have embarrassed Stephens & Stark, but Rob Dartry’s name being
slung around in this fashion is making her ill. All I could get her to say to me wa$ that Rob Dartry was a
good man, a very good man – none of it was his fault – and he did not deserve this! Did you know Rob
Dartry? Of course the drink, the Oscar Wilde business is pure rot, but why did Juliet call off the
wedding? Do you know why? And would you tell me if you did? Of course you wouldn’t; I don’t know
why I’m even asking.
The gossip will die down, of course, but does Juliet have to be in London for the thick of it? Should
we extend our tour to Scotland? I admit I’m in two minds about this; the sales there have been
spectacular, but Juliet has worked so hard at these teas and luncheons – it isn’t easy to get up in front
of a roomful of strangers and praise yourself and your book. She’s not used to this hoopla like I am and
is, I think, very tired.
Sunday we’ll be in Leeds, so let me know then about Scotland.
Of course, Gilly Gilbert is despicable and vile and I hope he comes to a bad end, but he has pushed
Izzy Bickerstaff Goes to War on to the best-seller list I’m tempted to write him a thank-you note.
Yours in haste,
Susan
P.S. Have you found out who Markham V. Reynolds is yet? He sent Juliet a forest of camellias today.