KITCHEN NIGHTMARE
The chef she wanted to please
So the meat she started to squeeze
With a fork part
She made the pork fart
The smell was something like cheese
What’s so funny about this? As the song goes, “some days are diamonds, some days are stones.” Some days spoonerisms and limericks just pop into my brain, while on other days I search and search and still come up empty. Go figure. Today’s ditty was inspired by a clue in the Times crossword puzzle, namely “fork part”. Now, I knew that there were actually names for the different parts of a fork, mostly because they come up as crossword clues, but I could never remember them. (BTW the answer is “tine” which is the prong, pointy part). But as soon as I read “fork part”, “pork fart” was there. A while back I realized that spoonerisms could be more fun if they were inserted as lines three and four of a limerick, and they would be guaranteed to rhyme. After staring at the spoonerism for about 30 seconds, the rest of the limerick came to me. I knew it would have to be about cooking or eating. My wife and I are fans of some, though hardly all, cooking shows. Even though Gordon Ramsey could start his own cable network by now, still his shows can sometimes be entertaining when not being too tedious. So, all chefs seem to have big egos and are hungry for praise, hence the first line that “she wanted to please.” OK next I needed a rhyme with “please” that would bring me to the payoff line, the “pork fart.” “Squeeze” did the trick nicely. The spoonerism could now be easily inserted. All that remained was the last line; what rhymes with “please” and “squeeze” and relates to farts? Why “cheese”, of course. And THAT’s what’s so funny!
Listen to the podcast: http://audioboo.fm/boos/1504284-kitchen-nightmare
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